Life As We Know It The girl that is supposed to accompany us to Texas this month
attempted suicide.
Her little sisters found her in her room, with cuts to her wrists and after she ingested a bottle of aspirin.
As I drove to the hospital to visit her, I thought of all the things we would talk about, because I could relate, I did the same thing at her age.
I'd tell her I understood.
That life can seem so overwhelming
That problems don't seem to ever end.
That I felt that guilt of thinking everything was all my fault.
The guilt of hurting my parents for making wrong choices.
The guilt of doing bad stuff when I was raised to do right, but not being able to say no
That relationships are hard no matter what age you are
but you can deal with it better later
I wanted to tell her, that even though the pain is so real and so pervasive
that this too, shall pass
I wanted her to realize that life goes on
and it gets better
And better
To look at me (she once said she thought my life was cool)
and to see that I am her, 15 years from now
That I WAS her, and grew up into happiness.
I wanted her to know
that everything is going to be okay.
And that life is worth living

But when I got there
she had friends and family with her
So I just kissed her hello
gave her flowers
and snacks and pictures of us together
Just small talk
I left feeling so disappointed  ¶ 8:38 PM